Before I took on the responsibility of paying her school fees, I met with the parents and some members of her family who collected the bride price and other things required for traditional marriage from me. She was there and agreed to everything.
When she finished her secondary education, with her consent, every other traditional marriage rite we didn’t perform when she was much younger was completed. We even did the wine carrying. Because I had plans for her, I didn’t try to force enforce my sexual rights as tradition demands after such ceremony.
While in Year One, her father forced us to go to the registry. He said he wanted things done properly. We agreed that the church wedding would be done after she graduated. This we did before she went for her youth service. That night when I demanded to sleep with her, she said she was having her period, so I allowed her. She left for orientation camp almost immediately. Since she was posted to the North, she didn’t bother to come home for the whole year, claiming it was too far for her. When I asked to come, she declined that it was not advisable for me to, because of Sharia law.
Because of my age, I ignored many signs I was seeing as well as the things people were saying about her. Even when I knew she was lying about being a virgin, I played along with her because of the story of my life. I have never been lucky with women. It has always been one disappointment or another. Despite being the best looking and most successful among my friends, I am the one who has the most challenge in my relationships. If the women don’t leave me for other men, sometimes my so-called friends, they end up disappearing with my money or car.
Fed up, I went in search of spiritual help and discovered that my stepmother was behind my problems. She wanted to hit back at me for my father’s perceived sins. This informed my reason to train and marry my wife.
When she finally allowed me to sleep with her, I discovered she wasn’t a virgin; she came up with so many excuses, but I told her not to bother. I had seen and went through worse things in the hands of women.
Just at the time I was beginning to think my problems were over, I ran into her in a guest house with a man. I was there in company of my business associates. Only three weeks before the incident, she told me she was four weeks pregnant.
Since the incident, she has been begging me to forgive her. She has sworn with everything, including the Bible, that the pregnancy is mine and that since marrying me, it was the first time she has been unfaithful to me. She confessed that the man I saw her with was the man who deflowered her and the one she dated all through her university years, that they agreed to meet on that day to discuss the problem he was having with his wife-to-be, only for them to end up in the room.
Her parents and family she told the incident are all begging me to forgive her. The pastor too has joined his voice in pleading with me. He said if I am able to forgive her, a lot of things will change in my life; that she was programmed to behave that way, so that I can continue to be unhappy.
I have really come to love her in the one year we have been together. She is very respectful, loving and caring, but can I ever trust her to tell the truth? First, she lied about her virginity and now this!
I am so confused. Please help me. I am the only child of my mother for my father. I don’t have anyone but you to turn to.
Feyinti.
Via Daily Independent
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